At my Dad's funeral last week, yes an entire month after his death, my Uncle Tom, who directed the service told a story about how people were asking him how he felt, and he kept saying...okay. But later he realized that he was not okay. He had began to eat junk food, stop doing all the things that he enjoyed, and was not himself, during this time of grief. He sparked a fire in me to start taking better care of myself.
No, I am not okay, and that is okay. I know that grief is a difficult path. I have my plate full. I have a mentally ill son who just got out of the hospital on Sunday. I have to show up at my job, and leave my grief at the door. I do all of that, everyday. I look forward to getting back to the things that I enjoy. Following blogs, photography, nature, writing, laughing. It is coming, yes, along with all the other blessings in my life. I am mindful, grateful, and blessed.
Jane....grief and it's stages...we are not prepared for the subtle changes that happen when go through it. Then a day comes and you recognize that you are not the person you were and it is affecting all that you love and whom are around you. It is affecting your core. It takes a huge effort to be willing to take the step forward out of the abyss.
ReplyDeleteYou try and step lightly on your toes ...forward yet mindful of your heart and the hearts of your loved ones.