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Sunday, May 15, 2011

My Dad, friend to all, Father to none

I am going to write a brief note, here about my Dad. He flew to New Hampshire the other day, sicker than a dog. He insisted on seeing my brother's one last time. It is an annual tradition to go for my Brother, Andy's birthday, May 18th. They have a huge golf tournament and party.

He made it, somehow, to Boston. When he met my Brother's at the airport they were shaken at the sight of him. He has lost so much weight. He is dying. He went to Andy's house, and collapsed. The next morning he insisted on going golfing. My brothers just looked at each other, and decided to go along with the plan, but after 4 holes it was apparent that they would have to stop. They took him to the hospital.

Photo by Scott Tchida of Enger Tower, Duluth, Mn.
It is so far away. I just feel like I should be there, but it is too far to go. We have had conversations amongst ourselves about what to do, if he dies out there. Does he want to be cremated? What are his final wishes. Where should we hold the funeral? One of my brothers remembers a conversation with him. He says that my Dad asked to be cremated and for his ashes to be blown from the top of Enger Tower on to his favorite golf course. It sounds right, it sounds like him.

Pancreatic cancer is no easy death. He is in constant pain. He can not eat, he is miserable. His faith in God has always been strong. He is fighting to stay positive, he is fighting to live. The rest of us are just waiting, knowing that soon we will be orphans.

4 comments:

  1. Wish your dear father has the strength to fight and get through this difficulty.
    And you, children and family can give him, yet in life, many happy days and loving.
    kisses

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  2. Oh Janey!! You must know I am hugging you tightly right now and praying for you kids and your father's comfort, though, I do know, as you said, it is a brutal passage.
    I do hope you take comfort in his faith, that you can feel peace knowing that you'll see him one day in heaven!
    We all live, we all will die; I only wish death did not have to be so grueling for those who suffer with cancer...
    Will you see him again Jane, you know, before...

    Enger tower - girl,, the sites and memories you reignite in me!! Oh, the trouble we got inot up there as teenagers............

    Peace extended to you and much love,
    ~d

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  3. ps -Tchida is such an unusual name - does this individual have family in the Watertown, MN area? Bill Tchida is a friend of mine

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  4. Jane, I read first the 'humorous' Dad story (above) so already know you do have a 'saving grace' in this end scene of your father's life.
    Bless you, and all of us who will lose our fathers--or who already have.

    Each of us has a "father" story, and yours is a tribute to him while still alive.

    PEACE with you, him, and all your family.

    ReplyDelete