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Sunday, May 15, 2011

My Dad, friend to all, Father to none

I am going to write a brief note, here about my Dad. He flew to New Hampshire the other day, sicker than a dog. He insisted on seeing my brother's one last time. It is an annual tradition to go for my Brother, Andy's birthday, May 18th. They have a huge golf tournament and party.

He made it, somehow, to Boston. When he met my Brother's at the airport they were shaken at the sight of him. He has lost so much weight. He is dying. He went to Andy's house, and collapsed. The next morning he insisted on going golfing. My brothers just looked at each other, and decided to go along with the plan, but after 4 holes it was apparent that they would have to stop. They took him to the hospital.

Photo by Scott Tchida of Enger Tower, Duluth, Mn.
It is so far away. I just feel like I should be there, but it is too far to go. We have had conversations amongst ourselves about what to do, if he dies out there. Does he want to be cremated? What are his final wishes. Where should we hold the funeral? One of my brothers remembers a conversation with him. He says that my Dad asked to be cremated and for his ashes to be blown from the top of Enger Tower on to his favorite golf course. It sounds right, it sounds like him.

Pancreatic cancer is no easy death. He is in constant pain. He can not eat, he is miserable. His faith in God has always been strong. He is fighting to stay positive, he is fighting to live. The rest of us are just waiting, knowing that soon we will be orphans.