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Sunday, June 18, 2017

PINK FLOYD - Comfortably Numb (HQ Sound, HD, Lyrics) Amber's

This is an interesting time, to be living. Will my survival skills be enough to have helped  make the decision to leave this life? Will I have no choice? Being a cancer survivor, who needs vital, expensive medication, to live, I am sincere. I realize that I am not vital. I am in fact, just another "Brick in the Wall."

Broken - Lifehouse (with lyrics)

Saturday, June 10, 2017

Dangerous Beauty

Just Jane:

'via Blog this' Life in the desert, so far; The people are wonderful! I believe there is a lot to be said for not nesting into your comfort zone, forever. The question is, will this be a short adventure, or the start of a later in life need, to push the limits.

It is hot! That is certain. You go from an air conditioned house to an air conditioned vehicle, to an air conditioned job, and back. You always bring water with you, just in case. People are as scarce outdoors during the day as you would imagine, but.... You see the poverty, as well. Those outside, are at bus stops, and under the shade of a grocery store roof, or on a street corner, with a sign, begging. You wonder why people have to suffer like that.  Even being in that heat for a few minutes, is draining and life threatening.

It is enchanting. The plant life, the birds, the sky...The stars!!! Being here, where light pollution is fought against, the stars are incredible. The Mountains are a sight to behold. Beauty everywhere you look. Dangerous beauty.

Sunday, February 19, 2017

The trouble with being accountable.

Early Saturday morning, I got a phone call, from my Son, Zack. He has a broken pelvis, and perhaps a broken back. Of course my anxiety spun out of control. My instinct was to run towards my Son, and fix what was broken.

Alas, my conscience held me away. My Son was in my arms, last week. He was in the hospital, at this time, Sunday, a week ago. On Monday, he checked out, against medical orders. He is not well! He is dying, and he checked himself out. I drove him to a neighboring city, as he requested. I did not offer my home as a shelter. His choice? Hospital or the streets? He chose. and I shattered.

It's Sunday night, and my Son is in pain. I am in pain. It sucks! I have no control of my Adult son's destiny. It is in his hands, and Gods. I can not enable. I can not rescue. It is his life, and the moment he left my womb, I respected that. I wanted to be the best Mom I could be, and I did that. Not perfect, not nearly what I hoped. I was as scared, as you were, my Sons. I was imperfect.

Life is fragile. Nobody is innocent. Love is infinite. I am praying for your life, and your sobriety. It is sadly not my decision.