Hey, there...is anybody out there? I lost myself for awhile. I seriously forgot who I was, and what I stood for, and traded my sanity for a little bit more money. I have a job I hate. I come home in tears most every night, or morning. Why?
I keep fooling myself into thinking that it will get better. I am tired, and have been giving it my best effort, honest. I believe that my life, with all its blessings and value should be put to good use. I believe that I have a purpose, but that working at this job is not fulfilling it. I am sinking. I have no time to do those things that I value. I have no time to read, write, paint, blog, take photos, be creative, cook. I don't even have time to shop, so what am I doing?
It is time to stop this insanity! It is a real problem! I need sleeping pills to sleep, and anti anxiety pills to function during the day. I work overnights, and days. I have an " on call" phone in my right pocket waiting for a call to jump back in. It is not a good fit, for me. I know that. People with anxiety need structure, and this is as unstructured as it gets.
So if anyone reads this, and can, please say a little prayer for me. I will start looking for something else, soon. I will be much more picky. There must be a lesson in this, somewhere.
Anyway, I love the new apartment. The view is awesome, and the family is alive and well.