I read somewhere that you should forgive yourself for every mistake you make, every five years. You are not the same person you were then, and you know that the more mature you, would have known better. I have decided to take that advise and fly with it.
When I think back to all of the funny things that I have done, and all of the situations I have found myself in, I could crawl in a hole and fade to black. WOW!!! Now though, I will never have to think about those things again. I forgive myself. I have learned, oh yes, baby, I have learned my lesson.
To begin anew, to start fresh, everyday, that is the gift of life. I hope when I look in the mirror tomorrow I see a better me. I hope that all of the scars of past mistakes, do not occlude the bright shining light that is me. The fresh forgiven me. Yes, I know that in the religious sense that I should not have carried that stuff around for the past thirty years. I have been brought up to believe that if you just pray for salvation and forgiveness you can have a life of peace and eternal happiness. But I have always had my doubts about that theory. For one thing, I can ask all I want, but if I don't even think I am worthy of a fresh start, why should God, right?
It is all about forgiveness. I might be my worst critic, I hope so, really. So I will start, today, to forgive myself. Jane, you get a fresh start, from here on it is up to you to do the right thing by others and to yourself. Step up and do it, good. As for the rest of it, my relationship with God, I will have to work on that as well. I can't really say that I have the answers, there. I am a work in progress, as I have said many times.